I was never the biggest fan of audiobooks.
There’s a disconnect that happens when the audio narration doesn’t quite match the experience my mind wants to create. Half of the time, I end up falling asleep once my brain decides to disengage.
I prefer traditional reading but had to stop for a while. First, it was because I was too busy, and then because I was too sick. Reading ended up on the back burner for a while.
Nevertheless, I got into audiobooks this year.
It was only because my sister started listening to audiobooks this past year and would walk me through all the emotional rollers she went through with each listening session.
I was intrigued.
I thought I’d give audiobooks another try, and that’s how I got to this book.
The Subtle Art of Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
This book has been on my TBR (to be read) list for quite a while — since it was released in 2016. Just from the title, I knew it would be an interesting and possibly controversial read.
I wasn’t wrong.
It has a 3.89-star rating on Goodreads (as of the date this post was published), and the reviewers either love or hate it. Some people find the use of crude language distasteful and criticize Manson’s arguments and writing style. Others consider this book ground-breaking, both in its message and its prose.
I appreciated Mark Manson’s approach to this book. He uses a mix of anecdotes and research evidence to support his arguments on how to live life. The “brutally honest” delivery of his thoughts was enjoyable to listen to (I’m a fan of clear-cut writing), and his audio narration added a nice personal touch.
While I listened, I had a lot of thoughts. As I said in my previous post, this book pushed my return to traditional reading. I quickly switched from the audiobook to the ebook version to jot down my thoughts.
Here are a few quotes that stuck with me:
Pain, in all of its forms, is our body’s most effective means of spurring action.
I thought this was an interesting take on the idea of human suffering. Does the body instinctually seek out suffering to grow and change? Given our general hatred for suffering, I don’t think that’s the case. I’m not sure if Manson is implying this, either.
However, his point here is that pain and suffering push us to act to change our circumstances, and that is a take that I wholeheartedly agree with.
A fixation on happiness inevitably amounts to a never-ending pursuit of “something else” — a new house, a new relationship, another child, another pay raise. And despite all of our sweat and strain, we end up feeling eerily similar to how we started: inadequate.
This quote addresses one of his main arguments in the book: perpetually fixating on becoming happy inherently makes you unhappy.
I agree with this. If you are constantly pursuing something better, can you really say that you are content with your present self? How aware are you of the blessings you already have?
That is not to say that people should become complacent.
One of our inherent human strengths is the innate pursuit of growth, which empowers us to do great, meaningful things. I just think that concerning what people consider quintessential adult milestones, we should at least be mindful and grateful for what we do have (as long as our basic needs are met).
Our lives today are filled with information from the extremes of the bell curve of human experience… The vast majority of life is unextraordinary, indeed quite average.
This was relevant ten years ago and is even more relevant now.
We’ve reached the age where technology and all its gifts strongly influence our thoughts and actions.
We maintain connections, gain knowledge about the world, and even get recommended products on social media. We use AI tools as a second brain when we need help coming up with ideas or writing an email.
There is a need to build media literacy as our world becomes more technologically advanced. Still, the extent we rely on technology for everyday tasks is a bit concerning.
Studies have shown that people now form their identity through social media, where many of us feel the need to post about our most attractive selves.
We see so much of each other’s best moments (and worst moments) that it’s easy to forget that there’s an unseen in-between, and the in-between is truly what most of our lives are like.
Certainty is the enemy of growth… the more you embrace being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfortable you will feel in knowing what you don’t know.
A significant issue in today’s society is that people tend to be sure about everything. At least, this is how many people present themselves online, even if it’s not necessarily the case in real life.
Many social conflicts are exacerbated by the unwillingness to listen with an open mind and better understand other perspectives. The reality is that there is so much we don’t know, and the only way to make any progress is to accept that reality.
Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments. It’s only when we feel intense pain that we’re willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be failing us. We need some sort of existential crisis to take an objective look at how we’ve been deriving meaning in our life, and then consider changing course.
This one hit me personally. This was precisely what I was experiencing when I read this book.
The moment my health tanked, and my career path veered off course, I gained all the time in the world to reassess my circumstances to figure out how to move forward.
Although these moments feel awful, they’re often necessary. A crisis may not seem beneficial when you’re in the moment, but times of struggle push you to make a much-needed change.
When the standard of success becomes merely acting — when any result is regarded as progress and important, when inspiration is seen as a reward rather than a prerequisite — we propel ourselves ahead.
I get analysis paralysis and decision fatigue quite often. It stems from the need to ensure that every move is faultless.
I realize now that this mindset is crippling (and a bit arrogant).
There’s no need to be perfect all the time. Sure, do you’re best, but obsessing over flawlessness is unrealistic.
Humans aren’t flawless. It’s more admirable to be accepting of your current self while in pursuit of personal growth.
So, continue that pursuit. It’s fine if it’s a small step. Even a tiny step is some form of progress.
Making these small steps is how we move forward.
Concluding thoughts
Overall, I found The Subtle Art of Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson to be a thought-provoking read.
Your ability to relate to Manson’s points may depend on your circumstances, so if your objective is to find a cure-all solution for achieving happiness, that might not happen when you read this book.
Nevertheless, Mark Manson presents an intriguing approach to navigating life — a counterintuitive one, as the title suggests.
It’s a different perspective, and other perspectives are often what you need to hear the most.